I am so saree

I bought a saree today. I have been putting it off and I am not sure why. For some reason, I have been keeping the whole process at a hand's distance away. This may be more of a stream of consciousness, rather than collective thoughts but I am going to try my fingers at some internal processing through the keyboard.


The saree is a very traditional dress for Indian women. It is worn when attending a wedding or formal event (the more glitter and bling the better) and some women wear more casual ones every day. I know that teachers in Indian schools are expected to wear them and also flight attendants with a particular airline.

This picture depicts what I hoped the experience would be like, but reality whispered to me that it would be different. Some of the questions running through my head were.....what do you do with all that material? how many pieces are involved? why is is okay to show your stomach in this culture when wearing a saree?(the blouse part under would be considered a mid-drift top) what do you wear under it? how do you put it on?  how much do they cost? where do I go buy one? am I going to get ridiculously ripped off?(that one is a given most of the time) what is the process? does it involve going to a tailor? and on and on.

Seth and I have been invited to a wedding, so this was the time. After language class yesterday, we went to a market near our house and were going to make it happen. I really had to work myself up to it, which didn't really make sense to me. People do this all the time. It should be fun to go shopping for a nice outfit. Well, when you are comfortable in your surroundings, know the language, and the system of doing things, this would be true. But alas, we live in India. Need I say more??

Back to yesterday. We found a shop that had "saree" in the name and we thought that a good sign. There were a few mannequins outside the store with pretty sarees on them.  We walked down about three steps to enter the store. A gentleman opened the door for us and I took a deep breath. The store was about the size of a smallish bedroom. There were shelves on three walls that went up about 6 feet high. On the shelves were bundles of sarees all in individual plastic wrapping. There must have been thousands of them packed into this small store. There was a man sitting at a desk immediately to the right as we walked in and there was a wooden platform about 2 feet off the ground that ran the length of the store. On the platform was mattresses with white sheets on the them and benches for the customers next to them. There were about 6 salesmen sitting cross-legged (I dare not use the other term :P) on the mattresses. There was not a woman in sight, which is odd but quite common in the shops.  Needless to say, we were the center of attention and the only customers. We told them what we were looking for (our language teachers gave us some useful phrases in class that morning) and they told us to take a seat on a bench. One man asked how much I wanted to spend and then another man started bringing several packages over to where we were. I really wanted to get up myself and look through the stacks (which Seth eventually did and I am pretty sure that was a major cultural feaux pas), but I kept my seat and said yes or no with each one that he brought out. Part of the problem was that I really didn't know what I was wanting. There were a gagillion choices and I am still not convinced that I am the sari type. Although, I am realizing that what I think I am or am not is sometimes completely irrelevant.

I narrowed it down  to a few possibilities and then it was time to try them on. I stood up and another man put a velcro strap around my waist. He began folding the yards and yards of material in a fan-like pattern and tucked and pulled and wrapped until it was all draped around me. Apparently part of the big piece of material is cut off to make the blouse and then a petticoat of some kind goes under everything. It is all very complicated and I never thought I would say this, but I miss the days of wearing a panya in West Africa. But that is another story. 

After I made my choice (which could have potentially taken hours), we paid for the saree and a man walked us over to where the store's tailor was. There I choose the neckline and sleeves on the blouse and he took all sorts of measurements. I will pick it up later this weekend. Then I went further into the market to buy matching bangles, which is a necessity when wearing a saree, or so I am told. This was a much less overwhelming experience and I am all about the bangles. We had a very interesting spiritual conversation with that shopkeeper and look forward to continuing to interact with him. I think that is my new go-to place for bangles (if anyone wants to come visit).

I have been trying to discern why this was such a big deal for me and I am realizing that it is not necessarily about the saree. It is more about what it represents, I think. It represents the culture here. I am putting on part of the culture when I put on a saree. How much of my own known, comfortable, and easy culture do I have to take off in order to put on a saree? I can't be carrying around too much culture because it is quickly getting hot here :)  Seriously, this is a foreign place and it feels foreign in so many ways. I am realizing how much I like the picture of who I am and what I represent back in the States, and now I have thrown a basket of all those things up in the air and they are slowly falling. Some things will make it into the basket and some will not. New things need to be put into the basket and some things that were in there have risen to the top of the basket.  I am continually thankful for a God who knows me, who made me, and who loves me.

I am not a good patient

Well, it hit us this weekend. Seth and I both had a stomach bug of some kind. We have been mostly healthy for the entire 6 months we have lived in India, until this weekend.  It really was not as bad as it could have been and the kids have not gotten it so far, for which we are very thankful.

I am still down with it and cannot seem to shake it. I am not good at being sick. It just doesn't sit right with me. I want to be able to do what I want/need to do and I get frustrated when my body does not cooperate. Oh well, no amount of complaining will change anything...it is what it is.

On the up side, we had a great relaxing weekend and I am so glad the kids are old enough to fend for themselves, so to speak. There was no shortage of movies watched (Step Up 3 was not too bad!) or apple products handled.

We could  not make it to church and so we had a worship time with the family. Seth requested that we all bring a verse and a song that we wanted to share. It was so great! I was amazed at how real the Father was in the simplicity of our time together.

Favorite quote of the weekend from Dakota: "For my funeral, I want to have a dance party and wear purple".

Pain and Disappointment

     The previous post, December 11, 2011 was deleted after I got the worst migraine I have had to this point while in India. I have had the awesome privilege of a very blessed life. I have three amazing children, brought into the world by a beautiful bride that I cherish and would give my life for. Almost every dream I have ever had has been fulfilled.  I am now living a life full of peace and joy.  So, when that migraine hit, just a few days after the PFO closure, I was devastated.  For years I have dreamed of having this closure, with the hope that I would no longer experience the anxiety and pain that many of you know comes with a life of migraine.  Most months I had 10-15 headaches, most of which were hidden from work and friends, but very real for my family and me. So, the previous post was written the night before this migraine.  I have to say that the crisis of faith was overwhelming. I haven't doubted the love and salvation of our all sufficient God at all since I was 16.  The on the 12th of December 2011 my world crashed!
     So, why did I repost the story from the 11th? For two reasons.
     First, my finite understanding of God has grown.  I realize that there is nothing that is going to happen in this life that will change God's all powerful and loving passion for humanity.  I may join the great crowd of witnesses that never saw their vision/dreams become reality.  I may have the privilege of living out a life here that feels less than complete, not quite whole and even disappointing.  As long as I cling to the Him and remain obedient, I will die at peace and pray that I will have lived a life spent for the Kingdom even if it is full of pain and suffering.
     Second, I haven't had a migraine since the 12th of December 2011.  Therefore, I feel it is my responsibility to share my struggle and small vision as well as the amazing victory.  I have learned from Stephen Hammond's example that it is necessary for those around us to see our struggles and successes.  We all share the free will that often gets us in trouble.  So, I now rejoice, not just from being pain free for over a month, but also because I now feel the need to be responsible for the gift of many hours each month that can be redeemed for the King.
    So, it is with great celebration and peace that I am thrilled to give God the glory for the pain, the doubt and relief that I have found.  And now....we fast.   Join Mosaic of Arlington as we embark on this journey together.  

Originally posted on December 11, 2011

Medanta Hospital, December 6, 2011
Seth had a PFO Closure completed on Tuesday. It was discovered during a Migraine research study in 2007 that he in fact had a Patent Foramen Ovale, a hole between the chambers of his heart.  The relationship is said to exist if the blood that has not been filtered is able to get through the hole and then travel to places only filtered should go.  The research study was called the Escape Migraine study and in order to qualify you had to have been placed on many kinds of medications to treat migraine and they all needed to have been found less than completely effective.  For Seth, he had been to 5 neurologist, including a few headache clinics over the last 15 years, acupuncturist, chiropractors, physical therapists, and even tried all manner of minerals, vitamins and homeopathic treatments.. Over the course of that time, one medication after another would work for a while, but then would stop working, some relief might be experienced for a short time with a new therapy or the migraines would get worse.  Engaging in strenuous physical activities lead to migraine.  Over the years, one food after another was eliminated from his diet in the search for the complicated factors that seem to be causing his migraines.
This research study seemed to hold a key element that hadn't been approached before, and possibly even a glimmer of hope for some relief.  As it turned out, Seth was part of the control group, so he didn't get the hole fixed.  Over the last few years in the States, we talked with different doctors about the possibility of the surgery being completed, based on the correlation of PFO and stroke.  With a history of stroke in the family, we thought there would be a chance of having the surgery done, in spite of the fact that the FDA has yet to confirm a link to migraine.  In the end in took leaving the country to find a neurologist/cardiologist team that understood the benefit of the closure, from a stroke standpoint, but possibly also for migraine treatment.
Thursday of the previous week, things were set in motion to fix the PFO as doctors in South Asia perform this closure often to prevent stroke.  Seth was admitted Monday, had surgery Tuesday morning and on Wednesday came home.  He has yet to have a migraine.  He waited a few days and today tested his luck.  After only a few hours of sleep last night (one trigger), we headed off for a soccer game (extended sun light was a trigger), he ran (another trigger), the came home and had a Twix (another major trigger), we watched a movie before dark (trigger), wore cologne for a date (trigger) and now after being awake almost 17 hours, he is still headache free. 
We are not sure how long this will last, but how fun to get to try things again and see some success.  We know that in all things there is a plan. This pain has been very helpful in counseling others.  This pain has been used time and again as part of the Master plan, but oh how great it would be to see Seth become all that he might be.  Over time, he has been less and less faithful in many of the disciplines, including fasting, as missing meals were triggers.  Many said there was a spiritual element, and there may very well have been and may be even now. The hope is that freedom from fear would great growth in his desire and obedience.  Thanks a ton for your prayers over the last week and years.  Many have invested much time in us, which is why this long blog is here.  So, may He get praise, may He be honored even more in our lives as we strive for His Kingdom to come and His will to be done.

A funny thing happened on the way to the post office (or post as it is called here)

One of my recent projects/challenges/cultural experiences has been to mail a small box of souvenir type things back to our family in the States.

Step 1: Go shopping for souvenirs. This was the fun part!
Step 2: Find a box and pack it with items. No problem; we had an over-sized shoe box from Noah's cleats. Packing things in a box so that they fit just right is secretly one of my favorite things.  I am pretty sure I got this gene from my Dad.
Step 3: Find neighborhood post office.
Step 4: Take box to post office and mail it. This is where it gets really fun and a lot more complicated than it sounds. We went to the post office around 3:45 after we got the kids home from school and settled doing homework. We walked in and there were four windows. Only one window had a person behind it so we went to that window and told the gentleman that we wanted to mail this box to the US. He pointed to the window next to us and said we needed to be at that window. We stepped aside to that window and proceeded to wait for someone to come and help us. No one came and finally a man sitting behind a desk in the back of the office told us to ask the man at the window next to us what we needed. At least I think that is what he said by his hand gestures and because I understood the word for "ask". We stepped back over to the window next to us and again told the man that we wanted to mail the box to the US. He said that we needed to be at the window where we were standing but that window closes at 3:30. Really?????!!! But we also found out that the box needed to be wrapped in "markin" and stitched.
Step 5: Go to market to find "markin". We started at Gupta's because we know the owner (we have been to his store to practice language and tell him stories). He gave us beige material that looked kind of like cheesecloth.
Step 6: Find a tailor to stitch the material around the box. The first tailor we went to did not speak a lick of English and he finally understood what we needed. He kept turning the box different ways trying to figure out how to wrap the material around and quickly we realized this probably was not the best way to go about getting this done. We then went to a different tailor and waited a few minutes for him to finish the project he was working on. Then it was our turn and the tailor said that we could not use the material because it had writing on it (stamp marks on the material). We went to a different material store and bought some more material, took it back to the tailor to stitch it. He proceeded to measure the box and he made a really cool perfectly fitted sleeve of material to cover the box.
Step 7: Mail the box. Okay, now we were ready to head back to the post office the next day. We were on our way to the post office and we saw a guy selling sweet potatoes. The way the people eat them here is roasted over a fire and then eaten with lemon and spices on top. I have been wanting to see if I could buy the raw sweet potatoes and cook them myself at home.  We stopped the guy and tried to ask him if all the sweet potatoes had been roasted already.  We have not covered that in language class yet so we were not getting very far. Three ladies walked by and we asked them if they knew any English.  They did know some and they were very helpful in helping us to communicate to the sweet potato walla. Then one of the ladies looked at me and said that she wanted to invite us to her house (right then). It was one of those moments that had to be divinely orchestrated so we accepted their invitation and walked with them to their flat. Along the way, we found out that their family was from Afghanistan and consisted of mom and 6 children (most are older teenagers and young adults). Their dad was killed by another family member and they cannot be in their country because of family problems. We had a very nice visit in their 5th floor very small flat. They were extremely hospitable and very kind. We hope to further our friendship with their family.
Back to the story....we went to the post office and walked up to the correct window.  He told us where to write the sending and return address, and the custom forms that needed to be filled out. We paid the fees and were on our way to pick up the kids at school.

Overall, it was a relatively painless experience and very successful.  I never did find out why the package had to be stitched in material.  Oh, the many mysteries of living in another country!

Happy Halloween......from Whippleville

We missed out on the aisles and aisles of candy, the costumes, the decorations, and all that goes along with the upcoming candy fest. But we did celebrate in our own way this year!

We decided not to carve the pumpkin so that I could cook it and make pumpkin bars, cookies, bread, etc. We have our priorities straight!

But we did decorate it.  We did not set it outside because I didn't think our neighbors would understand and it would just leave them wondering why those weird Americans have a decorated pumpkin outside their door :)

Even though we did not go trick-or-treating, we managed to have fun.  When the kids came home from school, I had the door locked and when they tried to come in, I opened the door and said, "Oh look at the trick-or-treaters we have!  What are you dressed as?" They played along and I gave them some special candy from a bowl - snickers bars and sour punch candy straws.

For dinner, I wanted to have a little taste of America as well. We had corn dogs (I had to look up a recipe and they turned really pretty good) and mac-n-cheese. For dessert, I made soft-baked pumpkin cookies.

The kids had a friend from school over and she ate with us.  She is from Australia and knew about Halloween, although they do not celebrate it.  It was fun to include her in our talk about all things American related to Oct. 31st.

I realized that I did not get any "good" candy for myself, which, as most of you know, is one of the big perks of being a mom of kids who go trick-or-treating. No worries; my wonderful husband had to go to the pharmacy to get meds (around the corner) and he brought me back  a surprise......my very own snickers bar (and it is bigger than the one I got for the kids).

All in all, I cannot complain. I am very thankful that we get to experience a new culture, with all of its customs, and keep our own special traditions of our home culture.

My New Shoes

I bought a pair of shoes the other day from a store in a market near our flat. It was a small store (about 12 X 15 ft) with LOTS of mirrors and glittery shoes. My daughter was mesmerized by all the sparkle. I already had an idea of what I was looking for and I started my search. There was no shortage of employees to help me in my search. I might mention, at this point, that we live in a city of about 20 million people. I found shoes that I liked and immediately a gentleman was close by to get me the right size. I watched as he walked to the middle of the store, looked up into a hole in the ceiling that was about 2 X 2 ft and said something. A few minutes later, a shoe box fell from the hole.  Seriously, there was a shoe fairy up there getting the requested sizes and throwing them down! I tried on the shoes and told the man that I wanted to buy them. He pointed me to a counter at the front of the store (actually just a few feet away). He walked with me and handed the shoe box to another man. I stood at the counter while another man punched in the price, printed a receipt, and handed it to me. I took out my money to pay and the man pointed to another man at the end of the counter. I stepped over a couple of feet  and handed my receipt to man and paid him. He stamped my receipt "paid" and gave it back to me. I took it and realized that I did not have the shoe box. I looked behind me and saw yet another man with my shoes in a plastic bag. I handed him my receipt and he stamped "delivered", gave it back to me with my shoes.

I do not say all of this to be critical at all. I find it amazing that so many employees can work in one store. Each person had their designated role and it worked. I guess in a city of so many people, lots of jobs are needed. Everyday is an adventure!

This picture is for illustration purposes only :)