I am not a good patient

Well, it hit us this weekend. Seth and I both had a stomach bug of some kind. We have been mostly healthy for the entire 6 months we have lived in India, until this weekend.  It really was not as bad as it could have been and the kids have not gotten it so far, for which we are very thankful.

I am still down with it and cannot seem to shake it. I am not good at being sick. It just doesn't sit right with me. I want to be able to do what I want/need to do and I get frustrated when my body does not cooperate. Oh well, no amount of complaining will change anything...it is what it is.

On the up side, we had a great relaxing weekend and I am so glad the kids are old enough to fend for themselves, so to speak. There was no shortage of movies watched (Step Up 3 was not too bad!) or apple products handled.

We could  not make it to church and so we had a worship time with the family. Seth requested that we all bring a verse and a song that we wanted to share. It was so great! I was amazed at how real the Father was in the simplicity of our time together.

Favorite quote of the weekend from Dakota: "For my funeral, I want to have a dance party and wear purple".

Pain and Disappointment

     The previous post, December 11, 2011 was deleted after I got the worst migraine I have had to this point while in India. I have had the awesome privilege of a very blessed life. I have three amazing children, brought into the world by a beautiful bride that I cherish and would give my life for. Almost every dream I have ever had has been fulfilled.  I am now living a life full of peace and joy.  So, when that migraine hit, just a few days after the PFO closure, I was devastated.  For years I have dreamed of having this closure, with the hope that I would no longer experience the anxiety and pain that many of you know comes with a life of migraine.  Most months I had 10-15 headaches, most of which were hidden from work and friends, but very real for my family and me. So, the previous post was written the night before this migraine.  I have to say that the crisis of faith was overwhelming. I haven't doubted the love and salvation of our all sufficient God at all since I was 16.  The on the 12th of December 2011 my world crashed!
     So, why did I repost the story from the 11th? For two reasons.
     First, my finite understanding of God has grown.  I realize that there is nothing that is going to happen in this life that will change God's all powerful and loving passion for humanity.  I may join the great crowd of witnesses that never saw their vision/dreams become reality.  I may have the privilege of living out a life here that feels less than complete, not quite whole and even disappointing.  As long as I cling to the Him and remain obedient, I will die at peace and pray that I will have lived a life spent for the Kingdom even if it is full of pain and suffering.
     Second, I haven't had a migraine since the 12th of December 2011.  Therefore, I feel it is my responsibility to share my struggle and small vision as well as the amazing victory.  I have learned from Stephen Hammond's example that it is necessary for those around us to see our struggles and successes.  We all share the free will that often gets us in trouble.  So, I now rejoice, not just from being pain free for over a month, but also because I now feel the need to be responsible for the gift of many hours each month that can be redeemed for the King.
    So, it is with great celebration and peace that I am thrilled to give God the glory for the pain, the doubt and relief that I have found.  And now....we fast.   Join Mosaic of Arlington as we embark on this journey together.  

Originally posted on December 11, 2011

Medanta Hospital, December 6, 2011
Seth had a PFO Closure completed on Tuesday. It was discovered during a Migraine research study in 2007 that he in fact had a Patent Foramen Ovale, a hole between the chambers of his heart.  The relationship is said to exist if the blood that has not been filtered is able to get through the hole and then travel to places only filtered should go.  The research study was called the Escape Migraine study and in order to qualify you had to have been placed on many kinds of medications to treat migraine and they all needed to have been found less than completely effective.  For Seth, he had been to 5 neurologist, including a few headache clinics over the last 15 years, acupuncturist, chiropractors, physical therapists, and even tried all manner of minerals, vitamins and homeopathic treatments.. Over the course of that time, one medication after another would work for a while, but then would stop working, some relief might be experienced for a short time with a new therapy or the migraines would get worse.  Engaging in strenuous physical activities lead to migraine.  Over the years, one food after another was eliminated from his diet in the search for the complicated factors that seem to be causing his migraines.
This research study seemed to hold a key element that hadn't been approached before, and possibly even a glimmer of hope for some relief.  As it turned out, Seth was part of the control group, so he didn't get the hole fixed.  Over the last few years in the States, we talked with different doctors about the possibility of the surgery being completed, based on the correlation of PFO and stroke.  With a history of stroke in the family, we thought there would be a chance of having the surgery done, in spite of the fact that the FDA has yet to confirm a link to migraine.  In the end in took leaving the country to find a neurologist/cardiologist team that understood the benefit of the closure, from a stroke standpoint, but possibly also for migraine treatment.
Thursday of the previous week, things were set in motion to fix the PFO as doctors in South Asia perform this closure often to prevent stroke.  Seth was admitted Monday, had surgery Tuesday morning and on Wednesday came home.  He has yet to have a migraine.  He waited a few days and today tested his luck.  After only a few hours of sleep last night (one trigger), we headed off for a soccer game (extended sun light was a trigger), he ran (another trigger), the came home and had a Twix (another major trigger), we watched a movie before dark (trigger), wore cologne for a date (trigger) and now after being awake almost 17 hours, he is still headache free. 
We are not sure how long this will last, but how fun to get to try things again and see some success.  We know that in all things there is a plan. This pain has been very helpful in counseling others.  This pain has been used time and again as part of the Master plan, but oh how great it would be to see Seth become all that he might be.  Over time, he has been less and less faithful in many of the disciplines, including fasting, as missing meals were triggers.  Many said there was a spiritual element, and there may very well have been and may be even now. The hope is that freedom from fear would great growth in his desire and obedience.  Thanks a ton for your prayers over the last week and years.  Many have invested much time in us, which is why this long blog is here.  So, may He get praise, may He be honored even more in our lives as we strive for His Kingdom to come and His will to be done.