The previous post, December 11, 2011 was deleted after I got the worst migraine I have had to this point while in India. I have had the awesome privilege of a very blessed life. I have three amazing children, brought into the world by a beautiful bride that I cherish and would give my life for. Almost every dream I have ever had has been fulfilled. I am now living a life full of peace and joy. So, when that migraine hit, just a few days after the PFO closure, I was devastated. For years I have dreamed of having this closure, with the hope that I would no longer experience the anxiety and pain that many of you know comes with a life of migraine. Most months I had 10-15 headaches, most of which were hidden from work and friends, but very real for my family and me. So, the previous post was written the night before this migraine. I have to say that the crisis of faith was overwhelming. I haven't doubted the love and salvation of our all sufficient God at all since I was 16. The on the 12th of December 2011 my world crashed!
So, why did I repost the story from the 11th? For two reasons.
First, my finite understanding of God has grown. I realize that there is nothing that is going to happen in this life that will change God's all powerful and loving passion for humanity. I may join the great crowd of witnesses that never saw their vision/dreams become reality. I may have the privilege of living out a life here that feels less than complete, not quite whole and even disappointing. As long as I cling to the Him and remain obedient, I will die at peace and pray that I will have lived a life spent for the Kingdom even if it is full of pain and suffering.
Second, I haven't had a migraine since the 12th of December 2011. Therefore, I feel it is my responsibility to share my struggle and small vision as well as the amazing victory. I have learned from Stephen Hammond's example that it is necessary for those around us to see our struggles and successes. We all share the free will that often gets us in trouble. So, I now rejoice, not just from being pain free for over a month, but also because I now feel the need to be responsible for the gift of many hours each month that can be redeemed for the King.
So, it is with great celebration and peace that I am thrilled to give God the glory for the pain, the doubt and relief that I have found. And now....we fast. Join Mosaic of Arlington as we embark on this journey together.
So, why did I repost the story from the 11th? For two reasons.
First, my finite understanding of God has grown. I realize that there is nothing that is going to happen in this life that will change God's all powerful and loving passion for humanity. I may join the great crowd of witnesses that never saw their vision/dreams become reality. I may have the privilege of living out a life here that feels less than complete, not quite whole and even disappointing. As long as I cling to the Him and remain obedient, I will die at peace and pray that I will have lived a life spent for the Kingdom even if it is full of pain and suffering.
Second, I haven't had a migraine since the 12th of December 2011. Therefore, I feel it is my responsibility to share my struggle and small vision as well as the amazing victory. I have learned from Stephen Hammond's example that it is necessary for those around us to see our struggles and successes. We all share the free will that often gets us in trouble. So, I now rejoice, not just from being pain free for over a month, but also because I now feel the need to be responsible for the gift of many hours each month that can be redeemed for the King.
So, it is with great celebration and peace that I am thrilled to give God the glory for the pain, the doubt and relief that I have found. And now....we fast. Join Mosaic of Arlington as we embark on this journey together.
I'm so sorry! Praying for you guys!
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